Where sex be happy happy

Dear Svutlana,

My husband bought me Flexi Felix anal beads. I presume they’re for anal sex. Any tips on how to use them? They look like a children’s toy with a major choking hazard…

Dear Ms Bead,

Thank you too much for extreme deep question, Ms Bead. Approximate ten inch deep. Flexi Felix no exact be entry-level anal toy and children definite no believe what it be use for, but it be good for anal play at intermediate stage once everybody be comfortable with concept of explore anal passage.

Svutlana find nice Flexi Felix picture for show everybody what this anal bead look like…

Svutlana no be exact sure why so many sex toy have cute face. Maybe face make toy seem friendly and approachable. If no have caterpillar face maybe Flexi Felix look like kitchen gadget for tenderize chickens.

Flexi Felix cost rough $30 and be make with silicone. Silicone mean that after use you can boil Flexi Felix three for five minutes for sterilize. Also silicone warm up fast for body temperature or any temperature, so can easy put Flexi Felix inside freezer if you want little bit freezie pop.

Eye holes on Flexi Felix be there for stick finger inside so can hold on for beads. Emergency room visit tend for happen when something enter anal passage and can no find way back out. First piece vice Svutlana have for everybody who read vice column be absolute no try for make own anal beads with materials that you find at craft store or try for insert grandmother costume necklace up ass just because it have beads.

Any old bead you find lie around house no necessary qualify for become anal bead. Similar, just because Felix have ten inch of insert length, you no need for insert entire toy at one times for get anal bead badge. Most important thing you need for know for use Felix be for communicate, lubricate (with water-base lube) and relaxicate.

But no communicate like you try for land airplane, Ms Beads. Nothing ruin moods more fast than anal Q&A. “Be it times for pull bead out?” “Want you more bead insert now?” “Be lubricate okay?”

In Svutlana opinion, it be up for partner on receive end of bead for communicate, especial when climactic moment come for remove. Simple give advance warn of orgasm approach so that bead remove process can begin. And for partner who be at pull end of bead, absolute no pull bead out like you remove dipstick from car or, for sake of heaven, like you try for start chainsaw!

Pull out bead at adagio tempo that be ‘slow and graceful.’ In Svutlandia there be special song for insert and remove items from anal passage call Poco Adagio Duet with String. Like Svutlana grandmother Svutnana say, “Always pair anal play with chamber musics…”

Good luck for you, Ms Beads, and have fun with new toy.


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