My husband and I have very cute, very nice neighbors–let’s call them Betty and Barney–whom I just discovered are swingers. Betty and Barney have invited me and my husband to join them on what they called a “naturalist vacation” in Mexico. They said we would be under no obligation to swing with them, but could just go and enjoy the naked charm of the resort.
My husband, who is more sexually adventuresome than I am is intrigued by the invitation, but I find it repulsive. I thought I’d ask Svutlana what she thinks of the idea before I close the swinging door completely, however, as the whole situation is making me feel quite prudish.
Swing’s not my Thing
Dear Ms Swings,
Thank you too much for question that make many prehistoric scholars question what they think they know about Betty and Barney Rubble.
Serious, thank you too much for question that seem for beg Svutlana for informations that will miraculous turn you from “prude” in for happy happy swinger. Maybe you think that Svutlana have something for tell you about swing lifestyle that you never consider before. Maybe you think Svutlana say swing will increase your mental focus or reduce your risk of yeast infect. Apologize me profuse, but Svutlana have no opinions about swing one way or other, Ms Swings, because swing be person choice.
That be said, it seem for me that swing no be one bit like trade veal cheek that you choose from appetize menu, for tuna sashimi that be on somebody else plate. Before you go for swing, you better be 100% sure that this be what you want for do because it be extreme hard for take little taste of swing and spit out if no like, especial if husband stuff face with somebody else and decide that he like swing extreme much.
Why you ask Svutlana for vice when it seem for me that you already make up mind about swing and find it repulsive? Maybe you feel outnumber with two swinger plus adventuresome husband and try for bring Svutlana in for object opinion. But you take big chances that maybe Svutlana like for swing too and try for recruit you for Mexico holiday with Svutlana.
And what if Svutlana say, “What be wrong with you that no want you for share husband on Mexico holiday like share little bit squirt suntan lotion?” Would you feel bad and want for book trip with no clothes inside suitcase? It be big mistake for call self prudish, as if belief about swing be swimsuit cover-up that can easy easy be remove. Vice have Svutlana for you be always trust your own instinct.
Svutlana understand that maybe this vice be hard for follow. Maybe it seem that everybody want fiesta funhouse sex but you and there be something wrong with you that need for be fix with compromise. But if you think you can go for Mexico for please Betty, Barney and husband with hopes that you can swing naked in hammock with read Happiness Project and leave it at that, think one more time, Ms Swings.
Mexico holiday with swing neighbor and adventuresome husband be vacation with extreme high risk expose. Guarantee me, one day have you one too many margarita and next thing you know, you play mucho orgasmo with Barney on beach bed while Betty play punta cunta with husband on bed next door and next day Svutlana get red exclaim point email from resort La Vida Loca about big fuck mess.
When it come for sex or finance plan, Ms Swings, never do anything you find repulsive.