I’m a married woman and fairly experimental. At least I thought so until my husband announced that he wanted to buy me a fucking machine. I have no interest in such a thing, but my husband keeps insisting and seems to think he’s doing me a huge favor. The model my husband wants to buy me is called the Invader, but he said he’d settle for a Power Drill Tool Box if I think the Invader is too intimidating. I don’t think it’s intimidating…I think it’s creepy. What should I do, Svutlana?
Dear Ms Machina,
Thank you too much for mechanical question, Ms Machina. In Svutlandia we call what you describe cross trainer because fuck machine prepare you for make happy happy with range of mens with vary depth and speed. For sure fuck machine be much more than little bit kink, but it really just be extreme big, extreme scare dildo with motor attach.
Svutlana ask friends about fuck machine for get additional opinions. One friend say she find idea little bit David Lynch, but maybe like fuck machine if close eye and pretend it just be mens with extreme good rhythm. That be said, Svutlana friends also have worries. Some friend wonder where for store fuck machine when no use. If clean lady find, maybe scare. Or childrens! How you explain fuck machine for childrens?
Think maybe it be easy for explain fuck machine for childrens with say mommy and daddy like for play space invade too. All Svutlana friends think fuck machine be like exercise machine that be extreme expense for buy, but maybe never use. Fuck machine collect dust like row machine or treadmill. And what happen if machine have malfucktion? Maybe hurt, and even if no hurt who come for fix fuck machine? Can no find fuck machine repair in yellow page, but maybe need for look under tool and die. Who for fuck know?
Svutlana know you have absolute no comfort with fuck machine so Svutlana vice for you, Ms Machina, be for tell husband thank you too much for kind offer, but you no want for be fuck with Invader one little bit! Tell husband he be best fucking fuck machine in market. Or maybe if husband be extreme upset, you can work out agree in middle. Maybe you can attach dildo for exercise ball so can also use for Pilates…
Please no be alarm Ms Machine, but it be possible that husband want fuck machine for self. Sometime marry peoples be strange. Marry people many time can no ask for what want, so play Sex Santa with give what they want as gift for someone else. Childrens do this too. Children buy toy for sister or brother birthday that really be gift for self. Svutlana be extreme sorry for say Ms Machina, but you need for ask husband if your vagina be only space husband want fuck machine for invade.