I consider myself to be a straight woman–I’ve only ever had relationships with guys. I’m attracted to men emotionally and feel I understand them. But here’s the catch: I’m physically attracted to women, not men. I’ve been in a heterosexual relationship with a wonderful man for five years, and I’m attracted to him, but in a best-friend kind of way. I imagine us getting married, having a family together and a beautiful life, but I NEVER look at men in a sexual way, and I always look at women lustfully.
I’m not sure if I’d enjoy having a deep relationship with a woman, because my ideals about women are unrealistic. I only fantasize about unbelievably beautiful women, supermodels and the like; women that probably don’t even exist. Sometimes I feel like a chauvinistic man, even though I’m a woman… isn’t that ridiculous?
My question is, do you think this view of women could be a result of an unhealthy relationship with my mother?? and what does it mean if I am attracted to beautiful women and not men?
Dear Ms Confuse,
Thank you for extreme befog letter, Ms Confuse. Svutlana be tempt for immediate lift fog and state obvious, but will take couple of paragraphs before do. It seem for me that you stand too long in lines at grocery store check-out with stare at cover of magazines that tell you womens be beautiful skinny sex object with radioactive glow and mens hover someplace inside covers ready for plant seed for make baby on demands. All peoples get this unrealistic message regardless of gender or sex orientation, however you seem for embody it, Ms Confuse.
This no be for say that magazine rack seduce you. You seem for have genuine sexual attraction for womens, Ms Confuse. Profuse apologize me for say, but for have family with wonderful mens while lustful look at other womens no be beautiful life: it be life base on lie that, guarantee me, eventual come for ugly end.
If you have emotional and intellectual connect with mens, but NEVER look at mens in sexual way and ALWAYS look at womens with lust, you no be straight, Ms Confuse. This be definition of lesbian with heterosexual sympathies. Your mother have absolute nothing for do with this.
Deep down you believe you be lesbian but this no work with beautiful life you construct for self and best friend, so you make lesbian attraction seem unattainable. If you be attract for imaginary womens in $30,000 dress on magazine cover at check-out, you can still say you be straight. Your chauvinism protect your self-image as straight.
Before you make lifetime commit for best friend, Svutlana vice for you be for full explore your sexual attraction for womens for see if it be real before commit self for wonderful mens. Svutlana believe that if you can imagine something you can have it, so why no set goal for beautiful supermodel womens? Reach for lesbian stars, Ms Confuse. Even if miss, guarantee me, you will still find something stellar.