Where sex be happy happy

In previous post, Svutlana receive this question from Ms Vomit…

Hello Svutlana,

I am a 20-something female and have been married for five years. My husband and I have three beautiful daughters!! I love my husband more than anything but we haven’t had a routine sex life for years!! maybe once a month, usually less. I feel horrible and so does he. My husband wants sex but I just have no desire and it’s nasty to me.. sex should be something enjoyable for both, not feel gross! the sight of his penis makes me wanna vomit… I know that sounds awful but I can’t help what I feel…

I was just wondering if there are any other women who share my feelings…. I don’t want to feel totally alone in this….

Thank you

Dear Ms Vomit,

Thank you again for question about aesthetic and emetic qualities of penis. In this post, Svutlana present you with Introduction for Gashooshlank, first lesson in Svutlana Penile Aversion Reduction Program.

Here be picture of gashooshlank that Svutlana get in balloon form so as no for induce emetic response in you, Ms Vomit.


Oh, gashooshlank! Breathtake beauteous instrument that rise and fall, rise and fall, sometime for no reason at all in publics and in middle of night with REM sleep.

First topic in Svutlana program be What Make Penis Erect?

Penis be like balloon, Ms Vomit, but rather than air, blood inflate penis. There be two structure inside penis for make gashooshlank stand erect, like two stakes that hold up tomato plant so that it no swing from side for side. Hard, stable gashooshlank that no swing from side for side make gashooshlank more easy for aim at assort targets.

Penis get message for inflate from parasympathetic nervous system, “rest, erect and digest” system that control digestion, defecation and urination in addition for sexual arousal. Once message be receive from parasympathetic system, process of open flood gates for allow blood in for penis and cut off drainage for blood escape begin.

Parasympathetic system work in mysterious way that be beyond conscious control, Ms Vomit. Husband can do little for stop erection, even if he be in place where it be extreme embarrass for have. In Svutlana opinion, uncontrollable penile erection make penis goofy and therefore extreme lovable.

Of course Svutlana gross oversimplify description of erection process, but “cavernous nerves from prostatic plexus stimulate smooth muscle in fibrous trabeculae of coiled helicene arteries for relax and allow blood for fill corpora cavernosum and corpus spongiosum of gashooshlank and make it rigid for prepare for sexual activity” be too scientific and almost ruin mystery and artistry of erection for me.

Speak of artistry, maybe you wonder from time for time about angle of erection. Since September be month for gashooshlank census in Svutlandia, Svutlana have data from 2012 census data ready for share in form of PowPoint chart:


Hopeful you no vomit Ms Vomit when see gashooshlank that look little bit more realistic in above PowPoint chart, and hopeful everybody appreciate skill that go in for make this chart. Believe or no, it take Svutlana extreme long times for fit all these gashooshlanks in for chart at correct angles and frequency percentages base on census data.

Erection be mostly at upright position early in sexual life, by mid-life erection be 90 degree and in elderly mens erection point for ground due for loss of elasticities in penile suspension ligament. In Svutlandia, call us erect gashooshlank that point direct down for ground, divining rod.

This conclude Svutlana Introduction for Gashooshlank that be part one in Svutlana Penile Revulsion Reduction Program. Hopeful, by now you be little bit less nauseous when look at gashooshlank and maybe feel strong enough for part two of program with go for Sex No Be Enemy for look at real gashooshlanks artful present in assort poses.


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