Where sex be happy happy


I’m a lesbian in my mid-thirties and am petrified of a long-term relationship because of the malady known as lesbian bed death. Is it a myth Svutlana? Do you have any suggestions on how to prevent it?


Dear Ms Lesbia,

Thank you too much for your question that for sure set off alarm bells for all womens who think about maybe become lesbians. Apparent, Dr Pepper Schwartz first discover lesbian bed death in 1983. Dr Pepper say lesbian bed death be when lesbian couple move in together (usual after first date…big lesbian joke be that U-Haul be second lesbian date) and have less and less sex until no have sex one little bit!


Have Svutlana absolute no ideas why lesbian bed death happen, Ms Lesbia, so have for ask friends. All friend say can understand lesbian bed death complete, but each give Svutlana slight different reason. One friend say womens like for talk and talk and talk and by time finish talk, both lesbian be too tire for have sex. Other friend say womens take time for have orgasm and for sure lesbian couple want both womens for have orgasm so maybe sex take too long for busy lesbian lifestyle.

Before go any more far with theorize, it be needful for say that Dr Pepper take lot of heat for discover lesbian bed death because, obvious, this no be extreme good advertize for lesbian lifestyle. Some lesbian say that Dr Pepper define lesbian sex too narrow. Lesbian sex have many possibles. Little bit kiss and cuddle be lesbian sex; little bit vibrate with buzz machine be lesbian sex; little bit strap-on be lesbian sex, little bit tongue in groove be lesbian sex too, but this be lesbian sex that get all pubicity. Why? Because this be type of lesbian sex mens like for watch. Hopeful Svutlana be wrong, but maybe lesbian think they can only check box that say they have sex if have type of sex that make lesbians famous.

Obvious, if define lesbian sex as sex where both womens have orgasm, it take more time than heterosex sex or gay sex. Maybe take mens eight minute for ejaculate, but usual take womens at least 23 minute for have orgasm and if multiply by two womens you have entire episode of Grey Anatomy.

For sure lesbian sex have high degree of difficult, but guarantee me, if Dr Pepper define heterosex sex as only happen when both mens and womens check box that say “Have orgasm me!” then heterosex bed death be big fuck story too. For sure Oprah do big special on heterosex bed death with Dr Phil who wring hand and shake head while Oprah cry many tear for womens who no have sex for twenty year.

Sorry for be so long with wind before give short answer, Ms Lesbia. In Svutlana opinion, lesbian bed death be myth. If you be one half of lesbian couple who be happy for intimate touch without open suitcase and take out special equipment for dive in, why need you for worry about what gay couple or heterosex couple do? All couple in long-term relationship need for talk for make sure happy happy still be happy, and it seem for me lesbian have build-in advantage with ability for communicate.


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