How can I convince my girlfriend to let me kiss her ass?
I don’t think I’m asking for too much! I would so much like to kiss her ass! I don’t want to penetrate her there, just kiss and lick. I’m not asking her to kiss my ass. No! I just want to kiss hers. Bury my face in her ass and kiss and lick and kiss!
But she won’t let me do it, she says it’s gross, she wouldn’t be able to kiss me anymore. I do stuff that she likes, I give her head all the time and she loves it. When I say, how ’bout doing something for me, she wants to give me head, but I don’t want that. I want to kiss her ass!
Why can’t she just sit on my face and watch a movie or something? I mean, I would prefer if she loved it too, but still. You’ve probably already done that, Svutlana, haven’t you? and you didn’t think it was gross, did you? Do girls always obsess about how gross something is?
OK, I’m a bit angry. We’ve just had an argument about it. I’m not good with words, Svutlana, maybe you can think of something I could say that would make her want her ass kissed? Right now I can’t think of anything!
I Dream Of Kissing Her Ass
Dear Mr–be me extreme sorry for say–Ass,
Thank you for letter that no be one bit asinine, Mr Ass. Maybe it surprise you for hear, but no, unfortunate Svutlana never have opportunity for sit on somebody face while watch movie. Immediate wonder me what movie Svutlana would pair with sit on face if ever be fortunate enough for be in position for do. Eat Pray Love come immediate for mind.
That be said, ask you for analingus, Mr Ass. Can call it kiss ass if like because sound more romantic, but your aim be for French kiss particular place on ass that be button hole. Svutlana have absolute no problem with where you aim because in Svutlana opinion, utter grossness of sex be absolute best thing about it. Svutlana imagine anal area for be like Kissimmee–no necessary destination in itself like Orlando Florida, but extreme nice place for visit and fair close for Magic Kingdom.
Vice have Svutlana for you consist of two part. One, explain for girlfriend that have her absolute no ideas what she miss. Anus be complete fill with nerve ends and feel extreme pleasant for touch, especial slow and gentle with tongue. Beside when anus no be busy with waste dispose, analingus give it something for do. Two, tell girlfriend you will place little bit plastic wrap over anus, no for keep contents inside fresh, but for keep activity complete clean.
Maybe girlfriend be familiar with entamoeba histolytica, extreme nasty anaerobic parasitic protozoan, that reside inside fresh feces and can cause ulcer on tongue of analingus practitioner, fulminate dysentery, amoebic liver abscess or amoeboma that all be as bad as sound. If girlfriend no be familiar with fecal parasite, definite no bring it up, but suffice for say it be good ideas for either clean anus extreme well before apply tongue or use little bit plastic wrap for protect yourself.
Otherwise, vice have Svutlana for you be for eat love and pray, Mr Ass.
p.s. Here be classic SNL skit that feature Anal Angus.