Where sex be happy happy


My wife and I had a swinging experience and it did wonders for our sex life that was getting a bit stale.

It was a lot of fun and opened up communication between us like never before, but the one thing that bothered us was the Bible’s position on swinging. Most Christians I ask just abruptly say it is wrong without explanation and get mad at me if I try to get more details.

The closest thing I found was a passage in the Bible Matt 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart…

Does this mean swinging is wrong?

Dear Mr Swings,

Thank you too much for question that baffle Svutlana also: what exact be Bible position on swing? Svutlana would also like for know Bible position on yeast infect, but can no find appropriate Bible passage except where God appear for Moses inside burn bush. Biblical symbolism seem for suggest that yeast infect be blessing.

Apologize me profuse if offend anybody with burn bush, but Svutlana simple wish for make points: you can use Bible for explain and/or justify any natural or unnatural phenomenon. Bible be most fascinate all-purpose Book with Protagonist that every Christian know well, whether they be Bible scholar like Svutlana or no.

You no have for go for Matthew for figure out Bible position on swing, Mr Bible. Think about. Matthew be inside New Testament where God mellow little bits from Old Testament God who be all-powerful curmudgeon. If mellow God say it be sin for even THINK about make happy happy with anybody other than your wife or husband, Old Testament God jump up and down with mad and pour pestilence in for your anal orifice for commit swing.

God no care if happy happy be consensual, Mr Bible. If you make happy happy outside your marriage He have big problem with it. Matthew try for expand definition of adultery for include what accidental happen inside your head when you see nice barista at Starbuck. Old Testament simple say:

Thou shalt not commit adultery.

This be fair clear, Mr Bible. Adultery be happy happy with somebody other than your wife. You can no decide for override one of Ten Commandment just because you have everybody sign off on with say swing be adultery with happy smiley face on it and for sure God be okay with.

God definite no be okay with what you do. Everybody know God no be okay with swing base on His anger issues and His long track record of spectacular retributions and feel no need for further explain for you with quote scriptures.

Svutlana, on other hand, be complete okay with what you do because everybody be happy and nobody get hurt. God borrow Mary from her husband Joseph for immaculate swing that produce Christians, but Svutlana no recommend you cite immaculate swing episode when you make your case for heaven. Svutlana vice for you, Mr Swings, be for start pray that Svutlana, against all odds, get job at Pearl Gates.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: