Where sex be happy happy

Svutlana,

My boyfriend and I have kinda been on again off again for two years. For a while we were just content with a “friends with benefits” relationship. However, regardless of if we’ve been together or not we love each other and there’s no doubt between either of us that we will always be close. We’ve come back to being in a relationship again this time since we decided to have a child together. I’m excited and so is he.

In our relationship, though, there has always been one little issue that bothers me from time to time in our sex life. When we first got together I couldn’t stand the idea of certain types of sex, like giving him head or anal. (Mostly because it made me feel low, like a prostitute or something. How I developed this idea I don’t know.) Since then, I have educated myself and don’t feel that way about either form of sex, and in fact I enjoy giving him a blow job (it makes me feel empowered). Anal, though I’m still not a big fan of. I give it to him on occasion and recently started discovering my own mindset to where I enjoy it some, but I still don’t care for it. I had thought and hoped that maybe if I could give it to him sometimes as like a treat or a special occasion it would be okay. Now he wants it more and more.

I’m not entirely opposed to engaging in anal sex more often, but it sometimes distresses me that I’ve made these concessions and yet now matter what I’ve said or how I’ve tried to talk to him about it he won’t hardly ever give me oral sex, and would rather just roll over and go to sleep if I refuse to give him anal when he wants it.

I don’t want our sex life to suffer because I refuse something, but I’m tired and not out of line to want some sort of fair trade. I’ve tried asking him about picking up a sex toy or something that he can keep around (as we don’t live together) because I know from previous experiences that I enjoy anal more with one.

Can you give me some advice on what to do? Or how to prod him gently to either learn to go down on me as I learned to give him head, or get him to keep a toy or two around?

Dear Ms Prod,

Thank you too much for extreme fascinate sexual dynamic question, Ms Prod. It seem for me that you and boyfriend be involve in game that in Svutlandia we call Prick for Twat. Profuse apologize in advances for say, but Prick for Twat always be sign of extreme dysfucktional relationship. Couple only play Prick for Twat when they think sex be zero sum game where one partner gain be other partner loss.

Ideal sex be win-win situations, Ms Prod, where both partner believe they create something together that add for pleasures of both. Win-win no require advance negotiations where you must somehow convince boyfriend for learn how for please you because win-win mean he already be motivate for do so. Win-win also no require deals like with Suez Canal where you say if give boyfriend access for your anal passage, he must let you play with toys. And in win-win, restrictions on anal access never lead for declaration of passive aggressive wars.

Profuse apologize me again for say, but no have you “one little issue” Ms Prods. Have you what Svutlana call Sex Hydra…

Slide1

Vice Svutlana have for you be for think two time and two time again before have child with this mens. It seem for me that so far you be big loser in game of Prick for Twat with continue for take it up ass in game boyfriend rig against you. Introduce toy and guarantee me, boyfriend will want for insert this object inside your anal passage too. And this dynamic where you be loser and boyfriend be winner probable no be confine for bedroom.

Suggest Svutlana emphatic strong that you turn this relationship off again. Permanent.

Svutlana

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