What are the top three sex mistakes women make?
You can call me…what the hell!…
Dear Ms Muff-Muff,
Thank you too much for ask Svutlana extreme good but difficult question, Ms Muff-Muff. Svutlana take your question extreme serious and will try for answer for best of abilities.
Wish you give Svutlana five mistakes, but unfortunate will have for work with three…
Number 3 Sex Mistake for Womens: Have absolute no fuck ideas what turn you on.
Maybe you notice that mens have fetish far more often than womens. It be something like 90% of fetish belong for mens versus 10% for womens (this be statistic that Svutlana pull out of ass, but it be fair accurate, if you ask me).
One extreme interest theory that come out of Svutlandia Sex Institute in Pooselicken be that mens have more fetish than womens because mens tend for explore turn-ons like dog explore own genitals (and genital that belong for others). In other word, mens no actual have more fetish, they simple be more motivate for look all over places for find. Vice Svutlana have for fix this mistake be masturbate, masturbate, masturbate until you find your fetish. Like Svutlana grandmother Svutnana always say, if you no have fetish, you no come hard enough.
Try for find at least three fetish so that you have back ups.
Number 2 Sex Mistake for Womens: Assume that unless you look like model on magazine cover you no qualify for enjoy sex with partner.
Even model who be on magazine cover no look like model who be on magazine cover, Ms Muff-Muff, so please no do body mass calculate and count number of jiggle bits and bits that hang down or stick out before decide if you qualify for make happy happy. Most important qualify for make happy happy be desire for make happy happy that come from belief that you be sexy womens. Be sexy womens no mean you be sexual attract for others. Be sexy womens mean you be sexual attract for self.
If no think you that you be sexy womens, consider that Cleopatra, who be most sexy womens of all times, look little bit like Susan Boyle…
On left be coin identify as Cleopatra; on right be womens identify as Susan Boyle. Guarantee me, it be sexual confidence of Cleopatra that make her number one most sexy womens of all times.
Number 1 Sex Mistake for Womens: Accept orgasm-lite sex life.
Oh, if Svutlana have just one mease penny for every orgasm that womens give up on because they assume time run out on them as soon as gashooshlank erupt, Svutlana be more rich than Ms Oprah. Sex no be game of Beat the Cock, Ms Muff-Muff. Play too much Beat the Cock and for sure you lose more than win because cock always have head start on clitoris that take some times for warm up.
If go head for head, 99 time out of 100 clitoris will still be do jump jack at start line when cock leap across finish line. This race no be fair, Ms Muff-Muff. This race be like Usain Bolt versus Katie Couric…
Mr Usain crouch at start line with run shoes on and many fast-twitch muscle. Ms Katie be in high heel with long skirt and small stride. Instead of say race be over and everybody go home when Mr Usain cross line, why no continue for cheer while Ms Katie go in for crowd and interview few peoples and walk sideways along track and turn around couple time before cross line in one hour, 33 minute and 10 second? Race be over when both Usain Bolt and Katie Couric cross finish line. Most time. Maybe Ms Katie be happy happy for interview peoples in crowd and never cross line and that should be okay too, but should be choice and no something Ms Katie be force for accept because race be over before she take five step.
Similar, if you assume orgasm must always happen with intercourse because this be superior form of orgasm as if king be superior form of crab, then chance be you be wait long times for orgasm because majority of womens no have king crab orgasms. One theory be that clitoris be too far away from vagina (particular on tall womens) and that gashooshlank can absolute no provide enough stimulate over long distances (except maybe with Skype). Can try for have orgasm with stimulate clitoris with hand or buzz machine when have intercourses, or can just say fuck it and try for have orgasm other ways.
Speak of other ways, oral sex be most reliable way for produce orgasm in many womens, but believe or no, there be mens in this world who love nothing better than for enjoy nice blow job, but no like for return oral favors one little bit. In this case there be no cunnilingus, no orgasm and big fuck problem that fortunate be extreme easy for solve with simple keep your mouth shut until mens reciprocate.
Maybe you notice how Svutlana stretch number one mistake in for three and therefore make three mistake in for five. Apologize me profuse Ms Muff-Muff, but there be no way for get around fact that there be five top mistake.
Thank you again one time for ask this question, and feel free for add mistake for comment section if think you that Svutlana be miss somethings.