Where sex be happy happy

Hey Svutlana,

I have read that 75% of people said that they don’t want their toes sucked. Researchers have hypothesized that toe sucking became popular in the 16th and 19th century Europe when there were large outbreaks of syphilis. Foot fetishes were supposedly developed as a way to avoid sexually transmitted diseases. Apparently, our advances in safe sex are the reason toe sucking has gone out of style.

What do you know of this, Svutlana? Is toe sucking more popular in some countries than others? Do they suck toes in Svutlandia? 

Thanks,

Always on My Toes! (call me Ms whatever you decide to call me)

Dear Ms Toe,

You be right Ms Toe–no hear you too much about toe suck these days, but guarantee me, if you go on any give Sunday for any give park in Svutlandia you see nothing but couples sit on park bench with toe stick inside mouth. First appearance of toe suckers be rite of spring like when see first robin in Oakville (little bit tight ass town on shore of Lake Ontario where Svutlana now reside as sexual spy for Svutlandia government).

We have  fountains inside Svutlandia park for wash toes, and little pots with flavor jelly call “Toe Jam” that park vendor sell for dip partner toe inside before suck. You see, in Svutlandia toe suck be nation pastime, and foremothers and forefathers want for put toe on Svutlandia national flag, but decide at last minutes for put nipple instead because nipple be slight more popular for suck on.

Have me absolute no ideas about you, Ms Toe, but Svutlana always be extreme suspicious about sex statistic unless come from Svutlandia Sex Institute where all sex study be careful screwtinize. Remember study about whether it be better for be slut or stud? Slut-Stud Sex Study be base on sample of 104 19-year-old University of Saskatchewan Psychology 101 student, half of who be virgins. This virgin sample take look at 33 sex behavior and decide for everybody what be normal and what be abnormal. In Svutlandia we call virgins “sample deviations” that must be remove immediate from sex study so as no for contaminate results.

Guarantee me, if give this Saskatchewan virgin sample toe suck for evaluate, for sure they call it abnormal.Unfortunate, most sex study tend for attract virgin experiment error because must draw on captive population of extreme horny, yet inexperience undergraduates. Svutlana say go for WalMart on any give Saturday afternoon if want you for put finger on sexual pulse of nation. Maybe pulse be extreme faint, but at least you find subjects with little bit sex experiences.

All that be said, hypothesis that toe suck be way for avoid sex transmit disease make complete sense for me, although Svutlana wonder about feet sanitation in 16th and 19th century  and how safe it actual be for suck on toe that maybe stick someplace where there be little bit black plagues.

Vice Svutlana have for you, Ms Toe, be complete forget about what sex behaviours be most popular on iSex chart and just do what feel good for you. For some reasons, and have me absolute no ideas why, toe suck feel extreme good. Is as if clitoris be somehow connect for toe via sciatic nerve.

Here be picture of Sting with wife Trudy toe in mouth in yacht off coast of Sydney Australia. See big smile on Ms Trudy face? She even interrupt book read for watch Mr Sting suck her toe. For sure four or five hours later little yellow sign appear on bow that say orgasm on board.

Vice have Svutlana for you and everybody who read vice column be for suck some toe today. Give toe good wash first, then dip in for guacamole or strawberry or chocolate and go for towns. Get you bonus point if toe suck on park bench like we do in Svutlandia.

Svutlana

Comments on: "Svutlana like for keep you on toes" (1)

  1. Anonymous said:

    Ha! My girlfriend calls me Dr Scholl (I am a toe enthusiast too)!

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