Where sex be happy happy

Dear Svutlana,

My husband and I have been married for four years and everything is perfect–he’s a wonderful guy and I wouldn’t trade him for anybody–but he’s not very good in bed. He doesn’t know how to touch me. He is either too light or too heavy, too fast or too slow and waaaaay too predictable. Can you give me some advice on how to broach the topic of technique with him? I’m sure there are simple skills he can learn to become a better lover and I don’t think I should be the one to teach him.

Frustrated in Frisco

Dear Ms Frisco,

Svutlana get too many “everything be perfect but…” letter! Feel me too much for you, Ms Frisco. No womens like for be marry for mens who be like bull in vagina shop. Why for fuck there be so many peoples who think that sex be skill that everybody innate know how for do?

Svutlana motto be “Anybody worth do, be worth do extreme well.” In Svutlandia we learn basic sexual technique in high school. Svutlana hand and brain no communicate well so must repeat hand job course three time, but eventual Svutlana get good grip on subject.

Vice Svutlana have for you be simple, Ms Frisco. Do what you want husband for do. You no say that you be expert lover, but suspect me that you find Svutlandia SAT (Sexual Aptitude Test) extreme difficult. Maybe you fail. Who know? Get book on sex technique and study extreme hard. Make sure husband know what you do and why–you want for please him and you know that be good lover be lot like be good chef: you need for learn proven techniques from masters and practice, practice practice. Offer for purchase materials for husband so that you can study together.

Vice Svutlana have for everybody who read this post be learn one new technique for please partner and try it out….


Svutlana think this be most adorable photograph ever, but in general, never do anything for partner that one Stooge do for other Stooge.

Warm regard you too much and best of luck for you!


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