Dear Jian Ghomeshi

Dear Mr Jian, Svutlana read your tale of woes from top for bottoms–how you be fire from CBC radio show base on allegations of non-consensual sexual aggressions–and if your Facebook post be true, feel me too much for you. For sure some vanilla sex peoples look at adventuresome BDSM sex peoples like you with little bit envies for costumes, props and choreographies. Ever since Fifty Shade of Grey you be extreme trendy and when you add allusion for Lynn Coady Giller prize, you be both trendy and haute torture. From outside BDSM appear cool, hard for pull off and little bit uncomfortable for look at, like skinny suit. You look nice with muppet and appear for be extreme cuddly, Mr Jian. For sure young womens look at you and listen for your show and think you be cross between Malcolm Gladwell and Thumper. It take Stephen King for imagine that you like for choke, hit and bite non-consent womens or tell womens you work with that you want for hate fuck them. That be said, four nine womens say this be case. Even if four nine womens make up stories about you, there be at least four nine womens in world who no like you one little bits and take some risk of expose for destroy you. No too many nice mens can say this. If what four nine womens say be true, then have you big fuck problems Mr Jian. There be many many peoples in BDSM community who have happy happy consensual sex life and lots for wear on Halloween. Be your sex life happy happy, Mr Jian? Svutlana

Battle of Vice Columnist: Svutlana versus Ms Prudie

Thank you to much for Svutlana friend Mr Robert who suggest Svutlana take on Ms Prudie, so for speak with give compete vice…

Dear Prudence,

My husband has some kinky sexual desires that I don’t want to deal with—they just aren’t my thing. He’s proposed that he visit a dominatrix, and I’m half-inclined to consent. He insists that they wouldn’t be having sex, not even in the Bill Clinton sense, and that whatever happens, there would be no threat to our relationship. I suspect that both of those things are true, but I still wonder whether we should go down this road. Obviously, I don’t love the idea of my husband being involved in any kind of intimate acts with another woman, but I might prefer this to dominating him myself. He’s gone to therapy—it made no difference. Any thoughts?

Conflicted Wife

Here be Ms Prudie vice (in case you can no tell difference from Svutlana prose that be similar poetic):

Dear Conflicted,

Having just read an interview with a former dominatrix, I can understand that even for the sake of marital harmony you’d rather not hog-tie your husband, put him in a cage with a bowl of dog food, or dress up as a cheerleader and kick schoolbooks out of his hands.

I got in big trouble with the sexual fetish community a while back for suggesting that a teenage boy with an obsessive latex glove fetish get counseling to help keep the fetish from taking over his life—and I still think that having rubber gloves on your hands and on your mind during all your waking hours is a terrible way to live.

I understand, however, as your husband has found out, that it can be difficult, if not impossible, to extinguish a fetish. Your letter also points out that even if you love someone with a fetish, that doesn’t mean you can happily participate in it. It sounds as if your husband’s desire for domination doesn’t dominate his life—it’s just an aspect of his sexuality he can’t squelch and that you don’t want to incorporate into your conjugal bag of tricks.

It’s natural that you don’t love the idea of your husband finding a release for his desire to be tied up, or whatever, with another woman. But the dominatrix literature makes clear that while they deal with an aspect of their clients’ sexuality, it’s is not about sexual intercourse. Letting him go might make your marriage happier because he won’t be asking you to tell him how naughty he’s been. If you can trust that his visits are limited to playing out scenarios that make you gag, then just think of it as therapy with a whip.

Prudie

Dear Ms Conflict,

With all due respects for Ms Prudie who obvious be extreme intelligent womens with vice that sound like it come direct from Wall Street Journal, Svutlana think her flippant “therapy with whip” vice be complete bullshit. What be so wrong about hog-tie husband? How will you ever know if hog-tie be wrong for you if you immediate outsource your sex life for other womens, Ms Conflict?

Everybody make tsk-tsk “can-complete-understand-me-why-you-no-want-for-place-husband-inside-cage” sexual pronouncements when they be full-clothe and poise in front of computer screen with cup of coffee. At this moments, Svutlana be half-naked and splay in front of laptop with little bit vaginal self-lubricate and bottle of Grand Marnier, and let me tell you exact why: can absolute no make judgments about somebody sex life when you be in same frame of mind that pay phone bill on-line.

Maybe husband say that what he want from dominatrix no be sex, but for say BDSM no be sex be like say suicide chicken wing no be food. Suicide chicken wing be food, Ms Conflict. Suicide chicken wing be flesh and bone food dress up for hurt.

Husband say Bill Clinton sex also be off menu, but for say blowjob be off menu with dominatrix be like Svutlana say will go for Katz Deli, but absolute promise no for order ham sandwich. Svutlana no know too many dominatrix who give head, Ms Conflict. However know me plenty of dominatrix who permit mens for give them head, usual while dominatrix sit on top their face and watch entire season two of Glee. That be twenty-two episode on six dvd of head, Ms Conflict. (Please no try for find this scenario in dominatrix literature because Svutlana just make it up base on what Svutlana do if all of sudden become dominatrix…)

If you give husband free rein for visit dominatrix who have short leash, you have no ideas where it will go. Dominatrix want repeat, extreme satisfy customer and once husband go there, guarantee me, there will be no respect for your limits or your happy marriage. Bottom (this is who your husband be, Ms Conflict) never set any limits for preserve your happy marriage. That is why Bottom be Bottom. If Bottom set limits for anything other than his personal safety, Bottom be Top and this complete fuck up BDSM.

Ms Prudie be little bit naïve when she suggest you can trust that scenarios with dominatrix will be limit for scenarios that make you gag, as if husband will untie himself, remove leather slave mask with ball gag and call you up on telephone with ask you for permissions for give dominatrix Glee season two of head. Svutlana agree complete with Ms Prudie, however, when she say fetish be impossible for extinguish. Fetish be impossible for extinguish, but it be possible for contain unless full indulge with fetish professional.

For be honest, entire situation you describe in your letter bother me, Ms Conflict. Why husband go in for therapies in first places? You force him because you think his kink be psychiatric illness? You call husband kinky with superior airs and you refuse for deal with his sexual needs. You no even try for help him and now he propose intimate acts with other womens.

Think me you make extreme excellent dominatrix, Ms Conflict. Vice Svutlana have for you be for start with leather bustier, thigh-high boot and little bit rope bondage.

Svutlana