Where sex be happy happy

Posts tagged ‘libido’

Why do womens make happy happy?

I need sex for a clear complexion, but I’d rather do it for love…

Joan Crawford

Accord for research of Dr Cindy Meston (Dr Cindy be sex psychophysiologist who also chair World Health Organization Women’s Orgasm Committee–this be job Svutlana covet but get pass up for) there be 217 reasons why womens have sex that can be distill in for follow fourteen categories:

1. Attraction – Womens be attract for masculine male with manly face, voice and smells. Tall mens rate extreme high in attractiveness. Tall mens father more children, have more sexual partners and engage in more extramarital activities than little mens.

2. Pleasure – Duh.

3. Love – In immortal word of Tina Turner “What love got for do with it?”. Love no have whole lot for do if rank pitiful #3 in reasons for have sex.

4. Commitment – Happy happy be excellent way for bond with release of oxytocin, but in Svutlana opinion this reason be little bit bore.

5. Experience – Apparent, virginity be pain in ass for many womens.

6. Adventure – Sex that look like race where must rush from one event for next through mud, up rope, under barbwire fence and over pommel horse offer Svutlana excite adventure that be most favourite reason for make happy happy.

7. Competition – Accord for Dr Cindy, some womens have sex contests where go for bar and see who can seduce most alpha of males. Am no exact sure how competition winner be declare unless womens take saliva samples from their conquests and test for testosterone.

8. Economics and Bartering: Example of barter be wife who put out in exchange for husband take out garbages (this no be example Svutlana make up, but sad example from Dr Cindy research). Example of economics be exchange of sex for position where company get for fuck you too.

9. Revenge: Apparent, revenge sex be best serve cuckcold.

10. Medicinal: Sex be prove for ease headache, menstrual cramps and insomnia. It also be good for Joan Crawford skin.

11. Duty *

12. Mate Guarding – Theory be that if you empty husband testicles on regular basis there be nothing left for other womens, but…

13. Mate Poaching – …there be womens who specialize in poach husbands. Frequent sex actual increase testosterones so you when you empty testicles over and over you prime husband for make happy happy again. Real soon. With whoever be close at hands.

14. Pressure and Coercion – No like me this reason one little bit!

*Best line ever for call of duty come from Lady Alice Hillingdon (1860 – 1940) who famous say:

I am happy now that Charles calls on my bedchamber less frequently than of old. As it is, I now endure but two calls a week and when I hear his steps outside my door, I lie down on my bed, close my eyes, open my legs and think of England…


Svutlana like for think if Lady Alice be alive today she have different reason for make happy happy or at least think of more sultry country, like Canada.


Woe be mismatch libidoes


I’m 30 and I’ve been engaged for the past ten months to a woman I dated on and off for about ten years. I am extremely sexually frustrated. Ever since we got engaged, sex has virtually fallen off the map. I get turned down all the time, and she only initiates when she thinks I am mad at her. Even then it seems like it is a chore for her.

I even took her on a tropical vacation recently and I got turned down consistently except for one night. I bring her gifts. I take her on dates. I clean the house. I’m starting to feel like she is not attracted to me — or worse. It’s really making me frustrated and irritable with her. What do I do?

Dear Mr Frustrate,

Thank you too much for question about sex that sudden fall off maps, Mr Frustrate. Unfortunate, Svutlana no be Oracle of Delphuk and can no say exact why fiancée refuse for have sex with you, but it seem for me that this no bode extreme well for life of marry bliss.

Svutlana no be oracle, but see sign that indicate your marry life–no matter how many gift you buy or toilets you clean–will look something like this…

Need you for ask this womens where exact her sex drive be. If she have no sex drive, she need for declare. Suggest me you simple ask fiancée on scale of zero for ten exact where her sex drive be with ten be extreme libidinous and zero be asexual. There be no correct answer for this question.

In Svutlandia, have us annual libido checkup. Just like when go for doctor and he or she tell you where your blood lipids be, every years Svutlandia couple take tests for determine where their libidoes be. Each person be place on bell curve and if there be more than one standard deviation difference in libido, couple immediate go for fuckciliator for libido reconciliation counseling.

It seem for me you and fiancée be at opposite end of libido curve, Mr Frustrate. In Svutlandia, Ministry of Happy Happy would refuse for grant you marry license, but in rest of world Svutlana just say proceed with extreme cautions and good luck for you.